Her Reflection
by Lady K.I.L. Zenith
Summary: Severus Snape is looking for Harry Potter as Harry is looking at the Mirror of Erised. Severus reflects on his tasks. One Shot from "A Forsaken Destiny." Song-fic-"My Immortal".


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter nor "My Immortal" by Evanescence

Severus Snape was prowling around the castle while he was seething. He did not know who he wanted to throttle more, Albus Dumbledore or Harry Potter. He felt a wave of hot anger as he thought how Albus Dumbledore made their jobs a lot more complicated. They were suppose to be protecting the br- boy and the headmaster thought it was a great time to give Potter his heirloom. An invisibility cloak was given to the eleven year old during Christmas.

Severus knew the boy was bound to get up to all sorts of mischief with that cloak. He wanted to know how they were going to protect Potter if they can't see him. Potter could get angry or just want to avoid people so all he has to do is pull on his father's invisibility cloak and disappear. The worse that can happen, is Potter being a clone of his father's and using that cloak for hijinx. The invisibility cloak rightfully belonged to Potter, but does Albus have to make him aware that it exists? Why didn't Albus consult him about when the cloak should have been given to Potter? Potter was after all in his house. He would have told Albus that it would be far better to give Potter his cloak when he comes of age; Potter would have matured around that time.

Giving a kid, who is alway going to be in danger because of people being upset that he dethroned the Dark Lord or the Dark Lord, himself, could be after him, an invisibility cloak was a nefarious act. Severus wondered if the headmaster had any plans for Potter. Of course, he knew about the prophecy but he thought Albus was going to try to have Potter grow up before the boy faced the Dark Lord. That mut- Black told him that on the original timeline Harry Potter faces the Dark Lord in his first year. Potter was actually trying to hinder Snape from getting the Stone until the boy realized that it had been Quirrell all along trying to find out how to use the Philosopher's Stone to restore his master. Both Black and him agreed that Potter trying to save the Stone had set everything in motion for his fourth year. The Dark Lord was not able to touch Harry Potter so he decided to use Potter in the Resurrection Ritual in Potter's fourth year. So he would be able to kill Potter. Keeping Potter's mother's sacrifice a secret would be for the best and hopefully the Dark Lord does not choose that ritual so he can avenge Potter for causing him to be ripped from his body. Severus couldn't figure out why didn't Quirrell send a Killing Curse in Potter's direction in the old timeline. Maybe both he and Lord Voldemort were afraid that lightning would strike the same place twice? Quirrell chose to try to strangle Potter. Severus shuddered at the idea of Potter facing both Quirrell and the Dark Lord with their wits about them.

Severus had wanted to keep to the original timeline as possible but Potter destroyed that chance by being sorted in to Slytherin. He was hard pressed to say this but he would rather Potter had been sorted in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff; those houses were safer compared to Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Everyone had the opportunity to find out Ravenclaw's password and Slytherin mostly had Death Eater's children. Severus didn't know whether any of Potter's classmates will hand Potter a portkey that would lead straight to the Dark Lord. He knew Draco Malfoy was starting to question everything his father told him but Severus knew Malfoy would be more than happy to betray Potter's confidence to be in favor with his father. Severus was upset that it could be possible to have a portkey to work on school grounds; he felt that portkeys should not allow people to portkey into the castle as well as out of the castle. He requested that Albus check his wards and ensure that portkeys would not allow travel to and from the school. Severus felt a little bit confident knowing that Potter could not be whisk away to participate in a Resurrection Ritual.

Only having minor changes to the original timeline would allow Severus to see ahead in the future and what could be changed. Yet, Potter being sorted in to Slytherin was a major change. For all Severus knew, the Dark Lord can come in to power in Potter's first year. He didn't know taking Potter to get his uniforms, potion ingredients and wand would really effected the original timeline. He remembered being slightly surprised when Potter told him that he would either want to be in Hufflepuff or Slytherin. No one was ever going to hear Severus Snape talk down about his own house to dissuade a student from being interested in it. Even if it may be Potter's son. He actually thought Harry Potter would encounter somebody, before being sorted, that would dissuade him from being sorted to Slytherin.

To be truthful, the Hogwarts' staff was surprised that Severus Snape wanted to re-introduced Harry Potter to the Wizarding World. On one of his worst nights of his life, Snape encountered a loose unrecognizable Black who told him of the dystopian future and that the Wizarding World was depending on his friendship with Black, Lupin, and Harry Potter. When he learned that Potter was the unknowingly a catalyst that helped the Dark Lord regain his body, he had the urge to do the Unbreakable Vow with Black to ensure that Potter would not be at Hogwarts for his fourth year and he, Severus Snape, would do everything he could to free the current Black who is now residing in Azkaban. Neither Severus nor Black did the Unbreakable Vow because both knew it was a long shot to get Black out of Azkaban legally. He knew about Scabbers, the rat belonging to Ron Weasley, was the animagus Pettigrew who should have been dead. Pettigrew was the Order's and Potter's traitor, and Severus was unsure whether they can capture Pettigrew and bring him to justice. He was planning to make this attempt in Harry's second year because he did not want Pettigrew and the Dark Lord aware of each other's presence. Severus was unsure why Pettigrew did not come across the Dark Lord in Harry's first year. Black agreed, if somehow they managed to get him out, to get Potter out of the Wizarding World of Great Britian just to try to prevent Lord Voldemort becoming corporeal again.

He never informed the headmaster that he has been communicating with Black because he wanted to make sure nothing gets in the way of Black's freedom. He felt if he showed Albus his memory of the future Black visiting him that Albus might want the future to play out that way. Albus Dumbledore is not a bad man but people gave him too much power. Albus is revered more than the Minister of Magic. When it comes down to it, Albus would not see anything negative about Potter confronting the Dark Lord for the first time. He would be upset if the boy got hurt, or even killed, but if meeting the Dark Lord gets him a body sooner which means he can die sooner so mote be it. Albus Dumbledore was upset in the original timeline when Cedric Diggory was killed but even that Dumbledore would rather have those events played out despite that Dumbledore would die in a short time causing the world to be thrown in a dystopian society. Black had told him who have all died, including Potter, because they were not at the friendliest terms and a lack of communication ensued. Severus didn't care what Dumbledore thinks; he was going to make sure that Potter would never be nominated for the Tri-wizard Tournament.

Severus knew to trust Black at his word because Black was talking about the Philosopher's Stone which was going to come to Hogwarts next year when he was talking to Black. No one except for a select few knew about the Philosopher's Stone. Even Hagrid has not blabbed about the stone then. He was unsure if Hagrid accidentally gave Potter some clues about the third floor cooridor.

Black had shown considerable faith in him by disclosing that the Dark Lord had made himself immortal by creating Horcruxes. Every Death Eater knew the Dark Lord's quest to becoming immortal but they did not know he accomplished such a feat and how. He knew as well as Dumbledore that one day the Dark Lord will be a part of the physical world. Severus will delay that return as long as possible. Both, him and Black, knew about the Horcruxes and , in Potter's second year, Slytherin's monster will be released by one of the Dark Lord's Horcruxes that is currently in the Lucius Malfoy's possession, the diary. Severus dearly hoped that the attacks will happen next year because it will lead to the headmaster finding out about Horcruxes and maybe find all of the Dark Lord's sooner rather than later. He was working on Sirius Black's defence with Madam Amelia Bones so he did not have time to be looking for Horcruxes. He was hoping that would be next year's agenda. Hopefully.

Severus stopped; he heard the unmistakenable sound of a desk being moved.

He peered through the ajar door of a nearly empty classroom; he quickly yanked his head back out. Potter was inside the classroom staring at that cursed mirror. Severus did not want to go after Potter because he may see her reflection: Lily Evans. She would have dark red hair and those green eyes that he has to look at occasionally during the first years Gryffindor and Slytherin's Potion lessons. He was sure that she was with that swine smiling at her son. What would she do if she saw him? Severus knew that she was an echo, just a memory, and not a ghost, but he was sure that Lily would be glowering at him. She would be looking accusedly along with that swi-Potter Sr. as he was sneering at Severus. They would be reflecting the emotions that he would reflect if the roles were reverse. He was the one who set the Dark Lord upon the Potters.

He remembered telling Potter the definition of bravery when he took Potter to get his school items. Severus had been good and charitable by saying that James Potter was brave because he did not have to protect himself or anyone from Lord Voldemort's pureblood mania. That Lily Potter was not brave because she was doing what was expected, protecting her own blood status and everyone associated with it. Severus Snape actually admitted to Harry Potter that he was not brave, as well, and it will be years, or maybe never, before he told Potter why he considered himself a coward. Although he would be damned if he used that particular word to describe himself!

Severus had betrayed his best friend, Lily, a long time ago. He had a choice, like Potter, he could have chosen to fight for Lily and her blood status but instead he chosed power, prejudice, and hate! He chosed temporary friendship. He thought he lost her friendship forever and so buried himself deeper in the Dark Arts along with his so-called friends. His eleven year old self would have been appalled at the way he treated Lily and angry that his older self had caused his best friend's death. His eleven year old self always valued brains instead of brawn would have been disgusted that his older self had joined a group of terrorist that focused on purging the Wizarding Word from Muggle-borns, the exact same blood status as his once best friend.

Not for the first time, Severus had thought about how Black travelled back in time. Black had been elusive in explaining how he time-travelled but if Severus could figure out a way, he would. There had been a couple of times that he had considered travelling back in time so he could tell the Dark Lord what would happen if he attacks Potter. Maybe give the Dark Lord a suggestion, to kidnap Potter instead of trying to murder him. That way Potter will have this sort of bond and would not want to kill his father figure. Severus remembered Albus chiding him because he wanted to only protect Lily. He thought what would ahave happened if he persuaded the Dark Lord to raise Potter. He was still trying to listen what is going on in that room that held the Mirror of Erised but he was slowly realizing that Lily would have died a different form of death. She would not know whether her son was living or dead and she would not be living herself looking at children celebrating each milestone as she was not able to witness her Harry celebrating them. She would try to carry on but there would be a part of her that died. She would no longer be Lily Potter or Lily Evans; he would not have wanted that to happen. Long time ago, he would have jumped at this opportunity, believing she would move on and, at the very least, she would still be living. Yet, people could still have a living death.

Now, all he wanted was to turn back time so he can hex himself before calling Lily that insult.

A sad smile was playing on Severus's lips, he was really maturing and maybe he might finally have some closure. If he had been told that he would be in the hallway while Potter was viewing the Mirror of Erised, he probably would have sneered at the person and say that Potter was either seeing himself being worshipped by his family, getting something materialistic, or winning some sort of reward. Without having to look, which him being there he would still not see what Potter sees, he knew that Potter was viewing his deceased parents.

It was only Severus's fear of what he might see that prevents him from telling Potter that mirror is just a reflection of impossible things so please don't waste your life staring at her. He didn't know if he was talking to Potter or himself.

 _I'm so tired of being here_

 _Suppressed by all my childish fears_

 _And if you have to leave_

 _I wish that you would just leave_

 _'Cause your presence still lingers here_

 _And it won't leave me alone_

Maybe, just maybe, he could one day look in that mirror and see her. Severus may actually see both her and James Potter. Maybe alongside Sirius Black, Harry Potter, and him. Insead of what he sees in his mind's eye, he would see her smiling, being grateful that he was looking after her son and managing to not allow childish rivalries resurface. He may see James Potter looking at him appreciatively. Part of him wished James Potter lived not only for Harry's sake, but to be able to rub it in his nose that his son was sorted in to Slytherin. That is still impossible, now he was craving to make amends with the dead and looking at what could have been. Not for the first time, Severus started looking at Harry Potter as a godson to prevent him from misjudging the boy. If he never called Lily that slur, he was sure that both he and Black would have been godfathers to Harry.

He may have actually been content with Lily marrying that toe-Potter if he could still be her best friend. That was what hurt the most was losing her before she had physically died because he was dead to her.

 _You used to captivat me by your resonating light_

 _Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

 _Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

 _Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

Dumbledore did not teach Severus Occlumency to hide secrets from the Dark Lord; that was the added benefit. He taught him Occlumency so Severus can get a full night's sleep. Severus would wake up often drenched in sweat and his thoughts would be swirling around trying to figure out how he could perform a miracle and save Lily. Once he drifted back to sleep, he would still see Lily accosting him for her death, it would be a never ending circle of him seeing her and waking up trying to figure out how to make amends.

 _These wounds won't seem to heal_

 _This pain is just too real_

 _There's just too much that time cannot erase_

The pain had lessen but it still lingers. The pain of what was and what could have been, lingers. Now, the pain has taken form of Lily's son. How hard Severus's tries to be a role model when he see those eyes. How hard he tries not to think that they are Lily's judging him from afar.

Severus was just going have to inform Albus that Harry Potter was being preoccupied with that mirror. He just hopes that Albus will not encourage Harry to go after the Stone. Severus did not want to threaten Harry with expulsion because Harry was already starting to look at him as though he was trying to get the Stone for himself. He did not want to give out empty threats as well as accidentally encouraging Harry to rescue the Stone. Maybe he'll tell Harry about Lily so the boy can have the opportunity to hear how his mother was really like. He was sure that Petunia Dursley never told Potter anything about his parents. As long as he does not have to talk about James Potter, he'll be alright. Once Sirius Black is free then Black will talk about James Potter and will be threatened to die a painful death in the hands of Severus Snape if he reveals too much.

Severus Snape slipped away to the dungeons allowing Potter to stay and continue to gaze longedly at his parents for one more night.


End file.
